You are beautiful, in every single way

Words can't bring you down....

My thanks to Christina Aguilera for allowing me to keep up with my lyrics as titles ;)


So I was discussing body image with some very smart ladies and it got me thinking about my kids.


My oldest daughter has been diagnosed with FTT as a 12 year old. This is an uncommon thing for children over 3 and I suspect it was the doctor being unsure why she is falling off her own growth chart. In reality, I have deep suspicions that she is borderline anorexic. It's not a body issue thing. It's an Asperger thing. She has cut her food choices down so much that she simply is not getting enough calories. I have come into the uncomfortable position of making her eat, even if she doesn't like it or claims she isn't hungry. That goes against everything I have ever learned about teaching self regulation. Our society's war against obesity has left me scrambling because when you are dealing with the exact opposite problem, you have to go against everything ever taught. 


To complicate matters even further, the same child is sensitive to dairy, which IS something she will eat but we have to limit it or cause a different set of problems. Furthermore, since she now has braces, that knocks out another chunk out of the things she prefers to munch on. Nuts, for example, are a favorite snack and a great source of non-saturated fat, but technically she isn't supposed to eat them as they could cause bracket breaking problems. It's immensely frustrating.


Then add in body image. I have heard the horror stories about women who spent their whole life hearing about how fat they were, even before weight was a problem. Can hearing "You're too skinny!!" over and over again cause the same kind of lingering issues?


Now add in the other kid. Kid 2 is perfectly healthy without an ounce of fat on her. She is also pure muscle and bone mass and outweighs her sister by a good 10 lbs. She is probably always going to be heavier, and by the looks of how things are developing, curvier than her older sister. I have heard her make the comparisons. Right now, it isn't a huge deal but her self esteem is so fragile. It doesn't help when her "friend" last year called her fat. That was actually really bizarre considering this so called friend is actually overweight. Kid 2 is not only nowhere near overweight, but is absolutely ideal. Assuming things continue on the same path, she is going to have the type of body that every woman envies. 


I try to keep my personal body image to myself. My husband and I try to make a big deal out of healthy diet  and exercise (although admittedly, we could both up our exercise) and my last physical brought to light that I have to be extraordinarily careful because apparently, family cholesterol problems did not skip my generation. It isn't high yet but it's up there. I am fairly thin and my diet isn't horrible, but I get to start being a little more cautious either way.


So the question is, how does one balance out the dietary needs of very different body types, and teach the kids involved to love those bodies, regardless of how different they are? It's an interesting conundrum. 




P.S.
To my secret readers, you can relax. As much as I hate the state of Michigan at the moment, my blog is merely an outlet. I plan on staying until all legal issues are settled. Quit getting your panties in a bunch over stupid blog postings. My blog is an outward expression and doesn't mean we are going to run off to Alaska next week. Good grief.