Mean Girls

Most parents want their children to grow up to be happy, polite, productive members of society. We agonize over every decision. Breast or bottle? Work or stay at home? Public school or private school? We scrutinize their friends and teachers. Give them rules to follow, and instill consequences for breaking those rules. We also don't want our children to be bullied.

So when your child and her so called friends are the bullies, the mean girls, then what? I was bullied most of my life. I had a whole plan of action in how to teach my child sarcastic comebacks and the art of the "don't give a shit, why are you still here?" look. I was not prepared to tackle the other side.

So when my child and two of her friends took it upon themselves to decorate the toys of my other child, something had to be done. You see, the bullied child has Asperger's syndrome, and the decorated toys are her current obsession. Twenty-five littlest pet shop pets done up in red and black sharpie. Some were colored completely. Some with artistic swirls, hearts and stripes. A few were not so much colored as fingerprinted permanently.

Toys, I know can be replaced, although some are no longer made or sold in stores, making things a bit more difficult. However, the sheer meanness of the act is astounding.

I have a younger sister and a younger brother. I know sometimes things get ruined but this was ridiculous. To add some sting, to it, the oldest girl involved was thought to be the victim's friend. Who needs enemies right? Knowing how important these little pieces of plastic are, and knowing who they belonged to, they proceeded to decorate every single one. Funny how not one animal from my other kid's collection was touched.

So my daughter will not be playing with these other children for the rest of the summer at least. We haven't dictated yet how the pets will be replaced but first and formost I will not have a mean girl in my house, which means that the friends are no longer. Do I think this will last long term? Well no. I can't dictate who she talks to at school and I can't control her friendships forever. What I can do is control them for now until I drive into her the way we treat people.

It's an interesting ride, this parenting thing. They like to put a spin on it.